Paper 2
My ability to revise based on comments and doing revisions on my own have improved greatly from my first and second papers into my third and final paper. The improvements in word choice and sentence structure from the draft of my third paper to the final draft were astronomically better than when I had started this class. I have improved on working with my thesis. Draft: “Empathy is a strong tool used to have relationships with other people and understand their thought process and provide comfort.” In the final draft I change these words to make a more powerful sentence. “Empathy is the strongest tool in the human arsenal to establish relationships and understand thought processes that provide comfort for the soul.” I think this improvement in word choice makes for a much stronger sentence and I was able to give a clearer statement as to the basis of my paper. I believe I was able to improve my sentence structure and vocabulary is my introduction and ability to hook the reader. Draft: “The understanding of human nature is one of the most complex ideas to comprehend.” Final: “The roadmap to comprehension of human nature is a complex journey that requires a lifetime of mastery.” I think these two sentences express similar ideas but the second sentence is much more interesting to read and would leave me wanting more. My overall development of taking comments and revising them has improved greatly, throughout this course I have shown my ability to change the way I write and adapt the comments that kept being made. I noticed the amount of sentences I used that were worded incorrectly went down as not many mistakes were made. Draft: “Especially when she gives a woman a microscope and realizes that the woman will probably look for specks for hours.” Final: “At the end of Jamison’s writing she tells of her troubles to console the Morgies without feeling guilty, like when she gives a woman a microscope and realizes that the woman will probably look for specks in her skin for hours.” I became much better at proofreading my own papers and making harsher comments on myself and was able to have stronger opinions as a result. I think that I was able to adapt quickly to revisions and understand what I was doing wrong in my writing and I have always had an idea of what my bad habits were. This allowed me to work on breaking these habits.
